Confessions of an ISFJ

Confessions of an ISFJ

Hey, can you give me a beginner's insight into the enneagram stuff probably devoid of stereotypes because most of the internet contains very stereotypical understanding of almost everything.

Answer:

funkymbtifiction:

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The short version?

Enneagram describes what you most fear and describes how you cope.

1′s fear imperfection.

2′s fear being unwanted.

3′s fear being unnecessary.

4′s fear being unoriginal.

5′s fear being unprepared / weak.

6′s fear being alone / lack of support.

7′s fear missing out / being trapped.

8′s fear being harmed or controlled.

9′s fear conflict and a loss of inner peace.

- ENFP Mod

captainkeyless:

INTJ *goes to bed*

ISFJ mom *opens arms for a hug*

INTJ: Really?

ISFJ: You always gave me a hug before you went to bed

INTJ: Yes, gave

ISFJ *waits*

INTJ: Alright

(via sif2-deactivated20180912)

intj-girl-things:

MBTI/PERSONALITY RELATED ASKS - SEND A NUMBER! (or more)

  1. XXXX-A or XXXX-T?
  2. How accurately does your MBTI type describe you?
  3. What type do you most get along with?
  4. What type do you least get along with?
  5. What are your parents’ types?
  6. For Feelers: What is your opinion on Thinkers?
  7. For Thinkers: What is your opinion on Feelers?
  8. What stereotypes normally associated with your type are true for you?
  9. What stereotypes normally associated with your type aren’t true for you?
  10. Do you like being the type you are?
  11. If you could change one thing about your type, what would it be?
  12. Do you know other people of your type in real life? If so, do you get along with them?
  13. What other types have you tested as?
  14. If you were to be of any other type, what type would it be?
  15. What is your best friend’s type?
  16. Would you consider yourself an ambivert?
  17. What is your Hogwarts house?
  18. What is your Enneagram tritype?
  19. What are your instinctual variants?
  20. What do you love most about your personality?

darkmagicianprincess:

What Exhausts Each Myers-Briggs Personality Type

ISFJ – Inconsistent People

ISFJs thrive on nurturing and caring for their loved ones. But when the people in their lives are behaving inconsistently, it makes it difficult for the ISFJ to understand how to harmonize with them. The inability to make sense of those they love is highly stressful for the ISFJ and it rapidly drains them of energy.

(via theisfj)

Can you make a big post about Si-Ti loops? (for ISFJs)

Answer:

funkymbtifiction:

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Si-doms often want to stay within what is ‘familiar’ to them; what they are ‘used to,’ and what has ‘worked in the past,’ so they push away from lower functional development. This creates the rigid reputation most fictional Si-doms are known for, where they are staunchly against change / anything new.

Unlike the INXJs, who need Se as an anchor to stay rooted in reality, ISXJs need Ne in order to consider moving beyond their comfort zone / what they grew up with. When a Si-dom ignores their second function and loops into Ti, they either get stuck analyzing the past and/or rationalizing (poorly) as to why they can’t try new things and backing up the decisions they make (centered on ‘being safe’) rather than on truly analyzing their motives, intentions, and decisions for logic. Like the INFJs, they become locked in an endless loop of feeble justification and only gathering weak logical ‘arguments’ to justify their Si-dom perceptions. They will come up with “logical arguments” to excuse any problematic behaviors instead of admitting to, confronting, and dealing with them.

When someone does not want to use Ti properly, they become indecisive, insecure, super critical of others, and hate critical feedback – because the goal is self-preservation rather than self-improvement.

In a loop, an IXFJ becomes stubborn, refuses to admit to being wrong and/or change wrong ideas, perspectives, or conclusions, lacks empathy for others while believing themselves morally superior and/or a “good person”; projects their own fears, insecurities, and motives onto people in the outside world, and is prone to negativity, bitterness, and cynicism about people and their motives; only accepts other people who are in agreement with their views, and struggles to develop or maintain healthy relationships (despite wanting them). The ISXJ may use manipulation to get what they want (shallow Fe) but become highly protective of and defensive over their ‘knowledge’ and try to one-up others.

Si/Ti loops fail to move on from past events or and refuse to see any other perspective other than their Si perceptions; thus they will ignore any external evidence that challenges, threatens, or tries to re-frame their concept of former experiences, relationships, mistakes, or decisions. (For example, an ISFJ may decide the reason Ted stood up Nancy is because Ted is seeing someone else behind Nancy’s back; a Si/Ti looper would start analyzing all their past interactions with Ted and finding only evidence to support this conclusion; it would ignore his statement that he stood her up because he had an unexpected emergency with his dog. In a loop, not only is Fe missing in action – the function that would be tolerant, understanding, and want to talk things through with Ted, but Ne is absent also, so it wants to stick with the one stubborn conclusion it reached, built out of paranoid lower Ne in the first place: cheaters stand you up, the last time I got stood up, my ex cheated on me.)

Si/Ti loopers will concoct complicated and irrational “reasons” to avoid moving beyond their personal comfort zone or confront their deeper fears; but they will also suffer unhappiness because of it, because their inferior Ne will make them fearful that they are missing out on maturing, making progress in life, or having new experiences. They become socially isolated and miserable, since their Si/Fe wants to work together to impact people’s lives in the present, and when they are in a critical, fearful loop, they cannot connect to other people.

To break the loop, you need to work on utilizing Fe; in communicating openly with others, in tapping into and sensing their emotional needs before they tell you, in honestly listening to them without judgment, in thinking in terms of ‘for the greater good of everyone involved,’ in airing your feelings, in being open to intimate emotional relationships, in learning to consider each life as being equal in importance to another, in learning how to communicate in non-insulting ways that energize rather than demean people, etc.

There are plenty of self-help books, books on communication, etc. =)

- ENFP Mod

ISFJ User Manual

theisfj:

excell-entj:

galafael:

This manual is part of a series of guides originated by @intpboard!  

Congratulations! You have come under the care of your very own ISFJ unit, probably because you needed help with a task and they needed an excuse to procrastinate.  They have offered you this manual in a simple attempt to assist you.  You should be pleased that they have chosen you to benefit from their helpful nature!

Your ISFJ unit will come equipped with the following accessories:

One (1) large cup of coffee (refillable)

Four (4) extra jackets to give you if you are cold

Two (2) semi-fancy outfits

Three (3) casual outfits, one of which they strongly prefer

One (1) calendar to keep track of important dates

One (1) coffeepot, for refilling coffee cup

Three (3) grandiose, altruistic life paths

One (1) large dog

Infinite (∞) support, patience, work ethic, and enthusiasm

Software:

Your ISFJ will come preprogrammed with the following traits:

Si: Your ISFJ will often be preoccupied with thoughts about the world and people around them, and may zone out during these times.  Don’t be alarmed – this is normal.  They are just gathering information about their surroundings, processing their impressions, and filing everything away in the proper place. Disturbing them during this process will often result in blank stares and confusion.

Fe: This trait is activated only when necessary, following the processing phase. After your ISFJ has updated with the gathered information, you will find them very interactive, friendly, and helpful! They contain a special chip which makes them particularly intuitive and responsive to all your feelings and needs, as well as overly willing to assist you in anything you may need.

Ti: Occasionally, instead of Fe following the processing phase, your ISFJ will need to withdraw and spend time deeply analyzing the information gained.  This trait allows them to balance their people pleasing side with their analytical side.

Ne: The weakest trait of the ISFJ, Ne works with Fe to prod the ISFJ into trying new things.  It is also responsible for their occasional bursts of creative ideas and plans! However, it is only able to activated for fleeting periods of time; pushing an ISFJ too far out of their comfort zone for too long will cause them to revert to the withdrawn, silent behavior that characterizes their original information-gathering mode.

Getting Started:

When you first start up your ISFJ, do not be alarmed by their silence! The first stage of ISFJ programming requires distant observation, which allows them to gather information about their surroundings!

1. Place included cup of coffee in your ISFJ’s hand.

2. Set them on a bench in a busy location.

3. Allow your ISFJ to charge by observing details about the situation.

4. If step 3 does not work, place included dog on leash and hand leash to ISFJ; Fe mode should trigger when ISFJ is approached about dog.

5. If your ISFJ still doesn’t start, announce a task with which you need assistance.

Modes:

Selfless Giver (default) – In this mode, ISFJs will jump at any opportunity to help others, regardless of their own schedule or plans.  They will never complain about this type of service.  Even if they do not want to help you, they will – regardless of any inconvenience it may cause them.  Taking advantage of this mode too often will result in an unhealthy ISFJ that will shut down in response to future requests.

Nature Lover - Activated when outside in nature settings.  ISFJs love nature, particularly the solitude and silence they can find there.  This allows them to process information without the interference of additional information.  They are likely to bring you outside with them, in an effort to help you silence your mind as well – even if this is not your idea of fun, please be patient. They are just trying to help you.

Humble - Activated in response to any type of praise.  ISFJs prefer to downplay their own accomplishments, as they are uncomfortable with overwhelming praise.  This often results in their successes being claimed by others, which upsets the balance of the ISFJ and often triggers Clowning mode to hide anger and disappointment.

Observer - Activated in busy situations/places. Your ISFJ will be content to sit back and watch the action around them.  Although they will be lightly conversational, attempting to engage them more deeply will not be successful – they are too busy processing their surroundings.

Clowning - ISFJs are prone to self-deprecating jokes. They use this as a defense mechanism to hide their emotions. A shield of laughter is the best defense of all! To this end, they also find joy in puns, wordplay, and any unique jokes. Their sense of humor never ceases to surprise, so try not to be taken aback!  Activated most often around NF units.

Relationships with other units:

NFs: ISFJs have very close relationships with NFs, because they are both concerned with the care and well-being of the other.  The ISFJ also often balances the NF, who prefers an “outside the box” way of thinking to the more traditional views of the ISFJ.  NFs can also be too demanding of the ISFJ – they need to know when to let up or they will burnout their ISFJ unit.

NTs: NTs have a very strong drive and work ethic that the ISFJ greatly admires; in return, the NT admires the way ISFJs care so deeply for others.  This is a relationship that can produce a lot of mutual respect.  However, NTs are far more logical than ISFJs, who are more focused on emotions, and this can cause friction.

SJs: ISFJs get along very well with other SJs.  They are both responsible and trustworthy, as well as equally willing to take care of one another.  This creates a nurturing environment for the ISFJ that is very important for their health and security.

SPs: SPs are fun loving and carefree, capable of assisting an ISFJ with big plans, ideas, or experiences triggered by the Fe trait. However, the SP must recognize that the ISFJ has a limit and be respectful of that – if not, their wild, impetuous nature can quickly wear down an ISFJ.

Feeding:

When busy, an ISFJ will often forget that food is necessary. This is especially true when engrossed in a project that will help others or while bringing one of their ideas/adventures to life.  To properly care for an ISFJ, you must feed them at least once a day.  If they are resistant to stopping long enough to eat, tell them you are feeling hungry and allow them the option of preparing (or paying for) the meal – their overly kind nature will override their natural enthusiasm for work and in making sure you are fed, they will feed themselves as well.

Grooming:

Your ISFJ will groom on a regular basis, as it never knows when it will be called away to help someone else.  They will always keep themselves clean and their appearance tidy – they never want to call too much attention to themselves, so they groom and dress in a way that allows them to blend in.  You will not need to monitor this function for your unit, and you should leave it to the ISFJ to take care of at all times; insinuating that your ISFJ is untidy in any way will cause them to feel offended and could result in total shut down until you apologize.

Sleeping:

Your ISFJ unit will sleep regularly, as being well rested is necessary to support the enthusiasm with which they approach their day (whether their day is at school, at work, or being with others).  Despite this, they often need naps or a large amount of caffeine to keep running in Selfless Giver mode – this mode drains their energy very quickly.

Frequently Asked Questions:

How do I get my ISFJ to relax and take a break?

You don’t!  ISFJ’s are not capable of “relaxing” in the traditional sense.  During their dormant periods, their brains are still rapidly processing and filing information.  The word “relax” is foreign to them and will confuse them if mentioned too often.

Help! I lost my ISFJ!

Don’t worry!  ISFJs often need a break to recharge by going into one of the aforementioned dormant periods. They will reappear shortly!  If it has been more than three hours, brew a pot of coffee and wait.  The smell of coffee should bring your ISFJ out of dormancy.

My ISFJ does not like to try new things?  What do I do?

ISFJ units come with a preinstalled love of habit and familiarity. Attempting to change too much at once can lead to a complete crash if you are not careful!  To deal with this, introduce your ISFJ to new situations, places, and people very gently.  Be patient and they will adjust in time.  Their Fe and Ne traits will also occasionally activate and push them into trying something new – make sure you take their lead and do not over stimulate them. This will cause them to withdraw into dormancy and will require additional coffee to fix.

Again, congratulations on your newly acquired ISFJ helper unit!

(Thank you to @effervescience for all of her help in researching and writing this guide!  <3)

THIS IS ADORABLE

Lol, the trick to get an ISFJ to eat is so clever…I’m sure that would work on me - darn it.

22 People Share The One Thing They Wish The ISFJs In Their Lives Understood

infjedi:

1. “Thanks for being the most loyal people I know.” –ENFJ

2. “Bottling things up and refusing to let the people in your life know that you’re upset with them hurts infinitely more in the long run (for both you and the other person) than just sucking it up and talking it out does.” –ENFP

3. “Your wisdom is underrated.” –INTP

4. “Not everything is a challenge to your sense of duty. And it’s often more hurtful to sacrifice the needs of the many for the needs of the few (or the one). The martyr syndrome doesn’t always pan out.” -INFJ

5. “You are some of the most genuine and kind people in life. NEVER let anyone tell you that it’s a weakness.” –ENFJ

6. “Thanks for protecting me. Sometimes you drive me nuts with trying to protect me by getting my head out of the clouds, but I know your heart is in the right place. I love you.” –INFP

7. “Stop being so passive-aggressive. If you don’t like me, then tell me.” –ESFP

8. “You’re actually super goofy and creative, it makes you easy to talk to even though we don’t typically approach things from the same angle.” –ESTP

9. “Just because you are so damn sensitive doesn’t mean that everyone must comply with that.” –ISTP

10. “Your introversion is beautiful. You don’t need to be the life of the party to win hearts. Let people get to know you and they will undoubtedly fall head over heels.” –ENFP

11. “Try being your own person and creating your own life instead of absorbing your current significant other’s… be your own independent person!” –ENFP

12. “I appreciate the self-sacrificing, but if you tell me what you need, it can be a two way street. You don’t always have to give of yourself.” –ENFP

13. “I truly admire your ability to provide things for everyone without asking for anything in return.” –INFP

14. “You guys hold the world together, and I think you don’t realize quite how much we all depend on you. You’re fiercely loyal, humble and hardworking. Don’t let people take advantage of you. You will be able to give more over the course of your life if you can give freely from your heart, not from shame, guilt or obligation. Draw those boundaries now so that you can give from strength. You are worth loving deeply, I hope you know that.” –INFJ

15. “Being passive aggressive doesn’t make anyone want to be around you. If you’re unhappy, please just say so in a way that can bring about growth and change in both of us. Avoiding someone and then pretending to their face that everything fine does no one any good.” –ISTJ

16. “Change is a process that’s usually uncomfortable, and it’s okay to be uncomfy for some time because I’m sure with the right mindset, you might just be having the best time of your life.” –INFP

17. “It’s ok to open up to me, it’s ok to share your thoughts and feelings with me. I’m sorry if I get so caught up in imagining the future, that I forget the here-and-now and the details, and that sometimes I scare you.” –ENFP

18. “Please open up to me and let me get to know you. Please initiate friendship with me. I love other ISFJ’s, particularly ones who are as inquisitive and passionate as I am.” –ISFJ

19. “Do not feel guilty if you are not loving or giving enough. Your value does not come from how much you give to others.” –ENTP

20. “I’m sorry for not reminding you how treasured you are more often.” –INFJ

21. “It’s ok to voice your needs – in fact it’s better that way so I know how to accommodate you.” –INTP

22. “You are like warm cups of tea to my soul. Seriously, thank you so much for taking care of people in real, tangible ways.” –ENFP


Source

(via theisfj)

Fictional character analysis: ISFJ

funkymbtifiction:

SUBMITTED by anonymous

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Awww, the ISFJ … such a common type, yet so often pigeon-holed as boring soccer moms who’s primary choice of activity is reading a Danielle Steele novel with a cup of herbal tea. And yest in fiction, they have been portrayed as some of the most intriguing, fascinating and heroic types out there. Not to mention a good number of intricate villains as well.

Introverted Sensing (Si): Unlike the ISTJ which is usually depicted as this anally by-the-book type authoritative type, The ISFJ’s Si in fiction is often quite fascinating. It is usually a vast world of experiences that weigh heavy on their hearts and minds, often in the form of trauma which gives way for either a natural protagonist or antagonist. Since they are often on the more “tragic” side however, chances are your typical ISFJ characters is plague by haunting memories and lifetime emotional scars, all of which will be revealed to the audience piece by piece giving us great insight into the character and why they do the things they do. In many cases however, their Si will be shown in some stereotypical way, such as them being very obedient or blindly loyal to someone who mistreats them. But, storylines (and other functions) are bound to make the fictional ISFJ want to break free from this at some point. 

Extroverted Feeling (Fe): Interestingly Fe tends to be downplayed in ISFJ character. Probably because a mysterious introvert whom is focused on pleasing people doesn’t make for a compelling character and thus, Fe in their case will often come off as Fi. But the fictional ISFJ is typically very assertive when dealing with people. They usually have great insight and know what they want from others. Where Fe tends to shine is that the ISFJ character is often the glue that holds their group together, the one whom is often seen as a little too safe and boring, yet the go-to person for advice and usually everyone’s BFF on some level. They are also very keen at keeping their more wild friends in check. This is especially prominent in the token “final girl” in horror movies, a.k.a the most stereotypical archetype of the ISFJ. The ISFJ character also tends to be very self-sacrificing. In horror movies for instance, their focus is on protecting others instead of, you know, getting the hell out of there. Which is often a great pretext for a bloody final fight with the killer or supernatural entity.

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Introverted Thinking (Ti): Lying dormant in every fictional ISFJ is an inner badass, and when it awakens it usually takes the form of hardcore Ti as if to say “Screw it! I’m going to handle this MY way!” Another recurring trait is their analytical and inquisitive nature. ISFJ characters are often natural detectives, although it can take them a while to get into that mode given that it’s a tertiary function. Every ISFJ character seems to be equipped with a (and pardon the expression) bullsh*t threshold, and of course you will see them reaching their boiling point before the movies ends. 

Extroverted Intuition: (Ne): some people seem to assume that Si-Doms are incapable of metaphorical comparisons. Well just listen to Norman Bates’ speech and how he compares people to his stuffed animals. Although it is true that you will often catch your fictional ISFJ constantly dreaming of “more” but always finding themselves bound to their everyday life circumstances and responsibilities, a trait this sadly true in real life as well. Inferior Ne can allow protagonists to dig deep into the antagonist’ psyche and defeat them by hitting where it hurts, whereas in ISFJ villains, Ne can make them lose all touch with reality and go completely insane to scary, scary levels. Again, Norman Bates and for good measure, Annie Wilkes. 

I'm going to hop on the train- feel a little bad asking you to another post but could you tell us what you've learned from ISFJs? Thanks

Answer:

funkymbtifiction:

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Don’t feel bad. ISFJs are some of my favorite people. I’m blessed to have had one as a best friend for 15 years. =)

You can build new memories with each unique experience. Each day is a new, glorious opportunity to create a new moment to treasure forever. Look for ways and opportunities to make it special. Learn to value each interaction and person you meet, and record these moments for future enjoyment.

Better a kind word that brings a smile than a harsh word that creates pain. Some things (the important things that can save someone from harm) can be said with gentleness. Other things never need said at all.

Each day can be filled with delight if you look for the small things. If you rush too much, you will miss the ladybugs of life. Learn to notice and appreciate the world around you, because it will not be the same tomorrow as it is today.

A world of comfort lies in your senses. Your room should be a haven for you, filled with the things you love that can bring you joy. When you decorate it, focus on how each thing makes you feel, in how you respond to it; fill it with soft, delightful things, a favorite blanket to wrap up in on a cold day. And when you read a book, brew a cup of tea or hot chocolate or bring lemonade. These small things can build a sense of contentment in you.

You can increase the pleasure, with attentiveness to the details. A picnic is so much more delightful with decorated food lids. These small details, the name cards, the party favors, the special wrapping paper, tell people that you love them enough to make an occasion special for them.

Better to love and lose, than never love at all. Life is full of hardship, but if you love someone or something, it’s easier to bear. So don’t be afraid to love.

I admire: their quiet, tender heart, their deep wish to make those they care about happy, their never-ending loyalty to their friends and family, their need to immerse themselves in sensory solitude once in awhile, their love of books, movies, and music, and their gracious compliments.

- ENFP Mod

As an ISFJ, I notice that I'm an emotional sponge. I "soak" up all the emotions of the people I'm around and unconsciously mirror their feelings in my demeanor. If I'm around someone that is worried, their stress becomes my own even if I wasn't feeling that before I came in contact with them. I would like emotional distance from people, but I think Fe demands that I have a heightened sense of the emotions of the group. How can I be around others and not be an emotional chameleon?

Answer:

funkymbtifiction:

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I have noticed this a great deal in IXFJs. It can be good in the sense that someone else’s positive mood can rub off on them… and bad, because I have sometimes seen the IXFJ start to hate something they loved, because a person close to them hated it, trashed it, and changed their mood about it.

(All feelers can suffer from this to a degree – especially if you rate high on the ‘affability’ scale, which means you have an overall pleasant approach to others.)

You have already won half the battle by realizing you do this, and wanting to change. Next you need to become aware of it as it is happening, and learn to detach enough to ask yourself, “Am I feeling this… or are they?” To realize you are a separate entity from this person, that you can choose whether or not to allow their emotions to influence yours (you have Si as a barrier to help you, which you can activate through asking detail-driven questions to understand their mood and perhaps force them to be objective in the process, pausing to examine your past interactions with this person, and maybe to recognize a pattern of behavior or a certain dynamic between you), and analyze things (Ti) as they happen, rather than allowing other’s moods to “overwhelm” you.

You can also shape the emotional mood around you, rather than being reactive – choose to be proactive, and if the mood is bleak, focus on how you can uplift that person (provided they are receptive and really do want help). The strength of Fe is understanding and shaping complex personal dynamics within the group – you are terrific at sensing / feeling them, now learn to USE them. Healthy Fe-doms are very good at shaping the mood of a group, by setting a strong and positive emotional standard. You can learn similar techniques.

Since you are an ISFJ, I’m guessing some people’s moods influence you more than others – your beloved family and close friends, maybe? The people you most care about? Typically, emotional detachment is higher with total strangers, those you do not like, or those you do not know well than those in whom you wholeheartedly invest your emotions. Being emotionally engaged with those people is not wrong or bad – they are “your tribe,” and it’s common to be emotionally influenced over those we most love or care about. This is where my advice to step back and think about (analyze) it will be harder. But unless you are reasonable about others, you cannot see them clearly.

The next time someone you care about goes into an emotional meltdown – give yourself some space, leave the room for a few minutes, go somewhere, shut the door, and work through your feelings / reach a point where you can analyze what just happened and whether it’s rational for you to be upset with them. In the case of “worry” … anxiety is an emotional response. How do you counter an emotional response? With logic that “comforts.” If it’s a problem, what are the ways you can solve it? Fix it? Lay out steps to help the other person be proactive?

The human mind does not like uncertainty or indecision. Until you make a choice, you are “stuck” in limbo. You cannot make these six decisions, until you make THAT decision. Decisions build on one another. You can combat anxiety – your own and other people’s (if they will listen) through decisions. A leads to B, which makes C inevitable. Suddenly it’s not so scary anymore, because you have a plan. You may deviate from the plan, but your mind can calm down for awhile. :)

- ENFP Mod