Confessions of an ISFJ

Confessions of an ISFJ

how do you tell the difference between Ne sharing and Fe sharing? and I've read that ideas stick easily to high Ne and that Fe is affected by other people's emotions and ideas, so how to tell if changing opinions quickly is because of Ne or Fe?

Answer:

funkymbtifiction:

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Ne’s speak through ideas, Fe’s speak through emotions.

Ne’s tell you about their dreams and the psychology book they just read; they are excited to hear what you have to say and if any of your ideas align with or contradict what they just read; they speak with such enthusiasm about ideas, other people may think they have far more of an emotional investment in those ideas than they actually do. It’s a bit like a puppy with a bone. It’s great, he loves it … and then he sees a bigger bone, and drops the first without a second thought. The first bone may or may not catch his attention ever again. Ne’s can seem out of touch with reality due to their idealism – their Ne teaches them to see an ‘ideal,’ the absolute greatest potential something can reach (a perfect person, a perfect day, a perfect concept) and they want to believe it’s possible. So they give idealistic advice. They push people to try their hardest. And their standards may seem unattainable as a result. But as a friend of mine said, “We’re all in the gutter… but some of us stare at the stars.” Watch them. Their IDEAS change.

Fe’s tell you about their emotional interactions, their desire for unity, their reactions to things, how they feel about the ethics of this or that, the behaviors they will and will not tolerate, what they believe, and can be incredulous when others do not have the same standard of ‘emotional openness’ that they do. They try to merge with you, to include you, to be in harmony with you. If they change, their emotions change – not necessarily their ideas – and it’s often because they saw something from your perspective and it seems wrong to them not to see you as an equal and treat you with respect, even if they disagree. Depending on the level of health / development, this can manifest in Fe ‘pushing’ a moral concept on you or trying mightily to change your mind (since that you do not agree bothers them); or in being weak, and more desirous of harmony or inclusion, so their values shift based on the stronger voices in the group.

In short:

Ne: changes their mind because a better idea came along

Fe: changes their mind due to a persuasive argument or external pressure

- ENFP Mod

Character Development for Sensor-Dominants

funkymbtifiction:

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Hi Charity! I’m sorry for asking this through the ‘Submissions’ text-box, but I don’t have a Tumblr account and I’ve noticed a couple of people doing the same thing lately, so I hope that it’s okay…?

It’s fine. :)

I’ve been actively reading about type and cognitive functions for the past couple of years, and I’ve noticed something that regularly happens in the small circle I discuss type with. Essentially, whenever a character has a vision or goal, it is decided that they are an intuitive character. For some characters this is obviously the case, otherwise there wouldn’t be a Sensor/Intuitive binary. For others though, Se-dom becomes Ne and Si-dom become Ni-dom the moment they state that they have a goal or vision, begin developing some kind of plan or try to instigate change.

It’s because of the stupid bias online (and elsewhere) that sensors can’t be smart, so if a character shows even a hint of intelligence, creativity, or a plan that includes the future, they must be an intuitive, since sensors all live in the moment and never think about the future. ;)

The best examples of the Se/Ne discussion come from anime, sorry – Mello from Death Note and Eren Jaeger from Attack on Titan, though Harley Quinn can appear to be an ENFP to some people. Some examples of the Si/Ni discussion off the top of my head are Cersei, Sansa and Maergary from Game of Thrones.

I can’t speak to anime, but Harley Quinn as an ENFP baffles me, when she’s clearly all about immediate impact for future benefits (Se/Ni axis). I guess you could make a very weak argument for inferior Si with her relationship with Joker (she’s in an abusive relationship just because she’s always been in it)… but you’d still need idealistic, ideas-stick-to-me-like-glue Ne-dom and I don’t see it.

Cersei… I am considering Ni/Se simply because I’ve realized that her methods are out of sync with the world around her in a way that Si/Ne is not, and she is clearly able to think significantly ahead (the finale this year was a good example, where she and Euron had obviously planned what to do in several scenarios in advance, and she resolutely absolutely refused to deviate from those plans even when she ‘faked’ it – which indicates a poor Se imbalance, and lack of fearful inferior Ne that would be freaked out, thinking of the 5,000 things that could go wrong with the White Walker invasion on her doorstep). Other examples include her attempts to be significant / take a leadership role, in a male-dominated hierarchy, as if she somehow expected to be allowed to do so, even though no woman had been allowed to do so in the past – sort of a Ni-dom idealism in play, and a lack of Si-awareness of ‘how things work.’

Show Sansa is such an SFJ I’m not sure how anyone could see her different. I know I typed her ISFJ (I think?) here but I’m fairly sure she’s an ESFJ in the grip sometimes, because she’s so assertive of her feelings and suspicious of everyone’s motives. She references her own subjective experiences 24/7, and denies anyone else knowing people ‘as well as I do’ because she lived through things they did not, which hints at a strong / dominant Si-tendency to filter everything through her perception of what happened, rather than what happened.

Margaery… I have seen good Ne/Te loop arguments, but I think she uses Fe so convincingly she must have it in her stack, so ESFJ seems right. She has a plan to sit on the throne, yes, but she goes about it through the traditional channels – unlike Dany, who decides to just TAKE it, Margaery thinks, “How does one become powerful? How have others done it? They married the king and became the queen, and won over the populace. I’ll do that.” Unlike Cersei, she does not invent a new path to the throne, she just walks in the time-honored one established by centuries of queens – to great success. There’s a sensor for you: they get things done, because they don’t need to reinvent the wheel to get what they want, they just go get it.

I’m open to discussion about type, and recognize that you can’t always get it right the first time, but often the Sensor function in the new type is often explained in very lazy ways – Si is linked to a grudge, bad memories and someone staying with someone past the time they should leave; Se is basically they implement their plan in the real world through observation and they like to be active.

Sadly, yes, this has become the case… because a lot of N’s are into typology due to it being an abstract theory, and because their own sensing is so poor, they are just describing ‘behaviors’ they see in people they ASSUME are sensors rather than having a deep understanding of how healthy, normal, high-functioning sensory functions work.

Si is a perspective of reality that focuses on bringing inner meaning from sensory experiences and a desire not to deviate from personal experience, which then feeds into a greater collective understanding of something (Ne).

Se is an objective perception of reality that focuses on the events themselves, unfiltered except to form intuitive (Ni) conclusions based on hunches or to take actions calculated for future impact.

Si/Ne axis wants to be meticulous and construct knowledge in a way that could be included in future text books, it is that detailed. Se/Ni axis wants to take swift action for future impact, and focuses intently on the object to derive personal meaning from it.

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I’m not certain of my own type as yet, but I’ve been stuck on the idea that I’m a Sensor because I feel that sense of doom when things start to get stressful, and I become paralyzed and unsure what move to make to leave the situation. I’ve struggled through anxiety, and admit that that may color my interpretation of my type, but it is difficult to be sure when there seems to be a lack of consistency in the information about sensors, and, while there may be more of them in the world, there does not appear to be the same quantity of them online.

General anxieties about the future do not always have to be a low intuitive function; rather, you should focus on whether you are more inclined to perceive the details of an object, concept, or idea (S) before you consider the broad implications, or more inclined to focus on the broad picture than the details (N). S types are more interested in DOING, whereas N types often just THEORIZE. This is why an ISFP would probably get in their boat and go help the flooding victims from the hurricane (affirmative action) while an INFP would be more likely to raise money for their relief (concern conceptualized through sharing the idea of people’s suffering) – that’s a broad example.

It becomes frustrating when examples of characters of a certain type, notably Si-doms and Sensing-Feelers, suddenly seem to change in the eyes of some people because their character has a goal or has been allowed to develop. The remaining characters at the end of type discussions that often remain Si-doms in the eyes of the group are the side-kicks, the personal assistants or the character that is eventually ‘saved’ from their situation by someone else and never by their own means. Se-doms are the badass side-kicks or the friend who never plans anything and comes in as comic relief at random intervals. I enjoy providing practical help to the people around me, but… Seriously?

Instead of changing their type, you should consider that the character is developing lower intuitive functions. Sansa, for example, was not cunning or intuitive on her own merit, but learned how to think that way from Littlefinger (God rest his poor, angst-ridden soul)… and she will never reach his levels. Just sayin’. When people assign intuitive types to characters based on very small margins or details, it says more about them and their negative bias against sensors than it does the character.

Though, I will take issue with Se-doms as the sidekicks. They are most action heroes… in… well, everything from cop shows to big-screen blockbusters. ESTPs are the most popular go-to in those formats. ;)

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Would it be possible for you to write a little about differences in character development for Sensor/ Intuitive dominants, where the character makes changes themselves? Also, I know that you’re a bit of a history buff, so I was wondering whether you know of any Si-/Se-dom leaders that subvert this trend? That were able to take charge and make change through their own agency, for a goal or vision.

In real life, healthy people learn from their mistakes. In good fiction, characters should learn from their mistakes, grow, and be different at the end of the series or film than at the first, provided it allows for character development. This is why James Cameron is a good filmmaker; he does not write the best scripts, but his characters are never quite the same at the end of the story as the beginning. They overcome hangups, learn to put aside their prejudices, or connect to a deeper truth and abandon their old life for something new.

These are not all sensor dominants, but they are worth mentioning:

Jake (ISTP) in Avatar learns to connect to his Ni, through interaction with the deeply spiritual natives; he comes to respect their beliefs and yearn for a deeper connection to nature. He chose this, once he encountered it. (Neytiri (ESFP) must also overcome her prejudices toward Jake.)

Elijah (ISFJ) in The Vampire Diaries and The Originals must learn to put the past behind him in order to embrace a greater future; he comes to acknowledge that his blind devotion to his ‘family’ endangers himself and them, and he makes the choice to sever some of those ties so he can find happiness. At the same time, Hayley (ESTP) learns to put aside her roaming nature, and find comfort in having a stable ‘family’ unit – both with Elijah and the wolf pack; and Klaus (ENTJ) finally comes to terms with his volatile emotions and learns that a knee-jerk violent reaction (poor Se/Fi) is not often the right answer. 

Probably the most visionary, influential Se-dom leader that comes to my mind was Winston Churchill, who foresaw the perils of Hitler and went out of his way to protect his nation, recruit foreign aid (he popped a bottle of champagne open when the Japanese bombed Pearl Harbor, because he said “We have won the war… the Japanese have awakened the sleeping giant”), and to enforce what he believed were positive policies after the war ended. People need to remember that Se/Ni can have a vision, and anyone can have goals, regardless of type – how they achieve their goals defines their cognition.

I’m afraid I can’t think of a Si-dom leader offhand that entirely bucked tradition, but I’ll be on the lookout for one.

Thank you for reading :-) Your time and effort put into this blog is really appreciated, and has helped me greatly in my own typing journey, as I’m sure it has many others

Thank you. Let me know if you need more help. :)

- ENFP Mod

Avoiding Burnout as an ISFJ personality type

theisfj:

This article helped me.

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“For far too long, it’s been my plan to get the work done, then rest, have friends over for game night, or take time for myself. You name it, I’ve been putting it off until the work is finished.

The work is never done.

There is always something more to finish, someone needing something, or someone who isn’t happy, no matter what you do. Taking time to take care of yourself makes you more productive and better able to care for those you love in the long run. Life is too short not to enjoy it a little!”

Is there any cognitive process or function (I'm guessing Ne in some position?) that makes you jump from idea to idea as a means of distraction, similar to how Se might engage in short-lived, fickle sensory or physical experiences and pleasures when depressed / under stress or without direction / outlet? And what position would this be in? How could you best correct this or at least deal with it more healthily, if the original stressor cannot be altered, or at least not for a long time?

Answer:

funkymbtifiction:

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(Gif: Ichabod Crane, Sleepy Hollow TV. ISFJ.)

If the distraction is natural because your brain wanders between topics and switches direction quickly, it could be higher Ne; but if this tendency only activates under stress or without direction, it is probably lower Ne.

High Ne operates on a continual basis of seeking potential from the ideas and possibilities in the environment. Ne in conjunction with the judging functions wants to bring these possibilities into reality through action, by leaping on that idea / philosophical thought / concept and reshaping or guiding it. This is why a lot of high Ne users wind up writers; because if you can capture a thought, concept, theory, or idea on paper, it becomes “real” in an abstract way; you can communicate it to others and perhaps even make it non-conceptual, as it manifests through decisive action or shapes public opinion.

The tendency of a high Ne is to explore the idea as long as it holds potential to the Ne user, then put it aside in pursuit of another idea; it will only revisit the earlier concepts and ideas if it finds NEW potential in it or a different angle by which to approach it. (For example: an NP discovers Game of Thrones when it’s the big, new thing. Becomes fascinated for awhile. Reaches the end of the books. Has no further discussion on it. Quits. Then the NP learns MBTI theory. Suddenly, there’s a NEW way to look at GOT. It revisits it! Discusses it! Theorizes on it! And when it gets to the end of that interest / figures out all the characters’ types… it finds a new obsession and moves on.) When there is no new angle / no growth on an old interest, the NP may not revisit it. It’s dead.

Lower Ne does not operate this way; it sees possibilities and potentials either as a method of daydreaming / problem solving or as a formula to achieve S ends (what purpose does this theory serve and how can I apply it to real life?). Higher N’s are interested in the theories for their own sake, and real life application is secondary; it is the reverse in higher S’s.

Since you seem to suggest this distraction / abandonment of focus happens under stress, I imagine this is Ne in an inferior position. ISXJs often report a loss of focus / distraction from their usual comfort level with details / feeling lost and/or overwhelmed under stress, due to inferior Ne “taking over.” Your best coping mechanism is to take a deep breath, calm down, and try to activate your first two functions. Reconnect with Si. How realistic are these distractions or fears? Which one is the BEST idea? Which one has the most potential, both now and in the long term? Pick one and pursue it. Get into the details of it. Use your aux/tert functions to figure out how you can make it real.

You could also put some time into studying how higher Ne operates, in order to better understand the potential of your own Ne (it will never be as good, but you can learn to focus it in more specific directions and use it in innovation) so that you can recognize when you are falling into Ne grips and take control over them. (Admittance is half the problem solved.)

- ENFP Mod

Interesting perspective on lower Ne.

How would an inferior Ne present in an individual? I hear a lot on what high Ne looks like, but not how an inferior one appears.

Answer:

funkymbtifiction:

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(Gif: Cinderella. ISFJ.)

ISXJs find the changeability of higher Ne’s troubling (one day, an NP believes this; the next, it believes the opposite), because to them it indicates a lack of being grounded / secure in who they are and what they believe; they tend to cling more firmly to established belief systems (their own) and keep Ne as a creative function through which they explore novel ideas, live vicariously through fictional characters or worlds. Their tendency can be to displace novelty and fantastical (unrealistic) ideas in favor of practicality; the inferior Ne believes many of their dreams are just that – dreams, impractical in reality and maybe unattainable (unlike the higher Ne, who willingly / naively believes they can succeed at anything, due to Ne overestimating its own talents, until they rapidly lose interest or the world teaches them otherwise). Inferior Ne’s pursue dreams as “outlets,” “hobbies,” and through art and creativity (instead of “living a life of Ne”).

Si/Ne approaches everything with detail first, so the ISFJ writer, for example, will be meticulous, detailed, and careful as they establish a writing world / attentive to the smaller things in the characters’ lives and then allow their Ne to carry the story in unexpected directions. This is the same approach they can have to life – careful, meticulous, and detailed, with a Ne eager to experience new things and ideas (especially ideas that do not conflict with Si). The healthy ISXJ wants to expand their worldview, to learn more, and to be able to think in unusual directions, but can sometimes doubt their ability to choose the right idea. (Ne, at its best, sees a multitude of ideas and selects the one with the most potential for positive outcomes.)

While they do have multi-directional thinking capabilities, external ideas can hit a barrier of former reference before they ever are fully analyzed by Ne. For example, an ISXJ raised in a strict particular religion might take an interest in a different religion / atheism or change their core theological beliefs but they must first reconcile these new ideas / perspectives (Ne) with their Si upbringing / former experiences to embrace them. Sometimes the Si aids in building up a grudge toward a certain belief system, way of life, religion, etc., because it is tied directly to the high Si’s memories, experiences, and negative associations.

Once Ne becomes more active, ISXJs can fall into two camps: one has little tolerance for abstract / philosophical / thinking or theorizing for its own sake (preferring “uses” for abstractions and examples for real-world application), the other is aware this can sometimes be difficult for them and often admires it in or is drawn to others who do it with greater efficiency. I’ve seen a tendency in ESFJs to idolize certain ENTP celebrities, because the celebrity uses efficiently two functions the ESFJ admires – strong Ne and strong Ti. The polar opposite is the ISXJ who has no patience for NP types; and believes them scattered, nonsensical, and erratic, with no interest in reading between the lines.

Because Ne is so low, the ISXJ is not always adept at seeing the “big picture” and may not notice how one idea contradicts or changes another. If the ISXJ is more of a “free spirit,” they may adopt a bunch of different, contradictory belief systems under which to operate (this is more common in NPs and  ESXJs). This is because Ne is simply “adding onto” Si rather than replacing old ideas.

Under stress and in the grip, inferior Ne becomes clumsily active – it starts generating all negative potential outcomes, sprawling in all directions, as the ISXJ loses touch with their natural ability to sort details and becomes lost in a world of abstract, vapid, frightening possibilities. The best example of this on screen is Rory Gilmore on Gilmore Girls whenever she’s under stress – she starts spouting all the horrible things that can happen as a result (she won’t get into college, she’ll never get a job, she’ll be homeless on the street, and wind up eating out of garbage cans, all because she failed ONE TEST).

- ENFP Mod

imanes:

“some things aren’t meant to last” ok but consider this: I love permanence and consistency

(via don-gero)